Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction

Today is Sunday. It is designated as the day of rest. I beg to differ. It is the day I could use a Valium.

No church today.

On to Tallahassee for breakfast, Krispy Kreme coffee (for home use) and the Walmart run.

Breakfast – iffy. We saw our server only twice; once to take our order and once to give us the check. Food? Delivered by someone else. Refills? We had to flag down yet another person to ask if she could find our server. She couldn't. She brought us the coffee and butter herself. She should have gotten the tip – but I couldn't find her again either!

Acquiring of coffee – successful.

Tallahassee Walmart. All I have to say is that the toilet paper was on the same aisle as the cereal. I don’t even want to tell you what picture that conjures up in my mind. We NEVER found the Oreos. Seriously, if finding Oreos turns into a major quest, it is time to abandon the cart and walk away. Which is what we did.

Drive back to our hometown. Walmart - part deux - run successful.

But now it has been FIVE – yes – FIVE hours since leaving the house. Four since breakfast and I need a drink and a small snack.

My mind goes to McDonald's. We go to the drive thru. We order 2 #2’s and a #7.

The faceless voice in the magic order box questions – “What drinks would you like with that?”

We answer, “We would like a coke.”

Faceless answers, “I am sorry we don’t have any coke.”

We respond, “Ok, Dr. Pepper.”

Faceless answers, “We don’t have any Dr. Pepper either.”

We respond, “Do you have diet?”

Faceless, “No, actually we don’t have ANY carbonated beverages.”

What????? Isn't that something you would OPEN with? ‘Thank you for your order, we are out of carbonated beverages, so would you like tea?”

Not our McDonald’s.

At the second window we receive our food. I check. We are missing an order of fries. We tell the person in the window. No response. We get our ‘tea’ but it had no ice (you can't make this stuff up). They were out. We sit there waiting for our rogue bag of fries. Nothing.

The girl looks at us and says, “Thanks. Have a nice day.” In a vain attempt to shoo us away.

We respond, “We will when we get our fries!” Fries finally attained.

Ahhhh, home. We finally are here. Unload. Our son gets his food from the bag and goes back to his room. I go outside to spray paint my frustration away.

It is then I hear my son as he is walking out the spray painting arena.

“Um mom, shouldn't a cheeseburger actually have a burger in it?”

WHAT???!!! Yep, they gave us cheeseburgers with no burger in it. How do you even do that? McDonald’s is a BURGER joint! It is what they do! The burger should be the FIRST thing the cook reaches for! It isn't a cheese, onion, pickle, mustard & ketchup on a bun joint! It is a BURGER joint – therefore denoting that unless specifically requested – a burger should be incorporated into a cheeseburger.

I called. They say they will give us a free #2. I am skeptical. After all this is a McDonald’s with no carbonated beverages, no ice, no proof checking of orders going out the window and no burger in their burgers.

I need a nap. Maybe I should have just gone to church...