Stay

I am going to try to make this prologue short and sweet, so I am going to bullet point it like I have to do for my students:

·         My mom came to visit for Christmas

·         She liked my perfume

·         I forgot to give her some, so I mailed her some (with a pair of earrings) priority mail on Monday.

o   I am now at work

o   I am participating in a webinar

o   I get this text during the aforementioned participation:

§  “Love the surprise box! Loved the perfume…Also the earrings Anges (WTH? This is my comment here, not in the original text) and well anyhow anyway I’m trying it I don’t think it’s turning out to good but anyhow I really AM enjoyin.”

Ok, back to a real blog:

My first way to deal with the crazy in that text (and I definitely do not know who the heck Anges is or if that is what my mom named the earrings I sent) was to forward the text to my sister so that I would not be the only person scarred by the madness it contained. In doing so I remembered the conversation I had with my mother about the name of the perfume I sent her.

Mom:    I like your perfume. It smells very clean and fresh.

Me:        Thank you.

Mom:    What is the name?

Me:        Stay.

Mom:    What? Why did you tell me to stay? I am sitting down and I certainly wasn’t planning on going anywhere. Don’t treat me like a dog!

Me:        I am not treating you like a dog. Stay is the name of the perfume.

Mom:    Who would name a perfume Stay?

Me:        The Gap.

Mom:    Gap? What gap?

Me:        Not A gap – THE Gap.

Mom:    The gap what??

Me:        Not What Gap – The Gap! It is a clothing store.

Mom:    No, a gap is a space between two things. Why would they call it the GAP? Are their sales   bad? Why would someone name a store Gap?

Me:        I have no idea and my head is starting to hurt.

Mom:    You said it was a clothing store, so where did the perfume come from?

Me:        THE GAP! They sell perfume too.

Mom:    You don’t have to get snippy and I still don’t understand why a store would be named Gap and they would call a perfume Stay.

Me:        I don’t either.

Mom:    Well, anyhow, your perfume smells really clean and fresh.

It went downhill from there and I will spare you the details. While all this was going on all I could think of was the bit that Abbott & Costello did about “Who’s on First.” Mine is not nearly as long or as funny, but on the level of non- comprehension it comes really, really close…