I am going to try to make this prologue short and sweet, so I am going to bullet point it like I have to do for my students:
· My mom came to visit for Christmas
· She liked my perfume
· I forgot to give her some, so I mailed her some (with a pair of earrings) priority mail on Monday.
o I am now at work
o I am participating in a webinar
o I get this text during the aforementioned participation:
§ “Love the surprise box! Loved the perfume…Also the earrings Anges (WTH? This is my comment here, not in the original text) and well anyhow anyway I’m trying it I don’t think it’s turning out to good but anyhow I really AM enjoyin.”
Ok, back to a real blog:
My first way to deal with the crazy in that text (and I definitely do not know who the heck Anges is or if that is what my mom named the earrings I sent) was to forward the text to my sister so that I would not be the only person scarred by the madness it contained. In doing so I remembered the conversation I had with my mother about the name of the perfume I sent her.
Mom: I like your perfume. It smells very clean and fresh.
Me: Thank you.
Mom: What is the name?
Mom: What? Why did you tell me to stay? I am sitting down and I certainly wasn’t planning on going anywhere. Don’t treat me like a dog!
Me: I am not treating you like a dog. Stay is the name of the perfume.
Mom: Who would name a perfume Stay?
Me: The Gap.
Mom: Gap? What gap?
Me: Not A gap – THE Gap.
Mom: The gap what??
Me: Not What Gap – The Gap! It is a clothing store.
Mom: No, a gap is a space between two things. Why would they call it the GAP? Are their sales bad? Why would someone name a store Gap?
Me: I have no idea and my head is starting to hurt.
Mom: You said it was a clothing store, so where did the perfume come from?
Me: THE GAP! They sell perfume too.
Mom: You don’t have to get snippy and I still don’t understand why a store would be named Gap and they would call a perfume Stay.
Me: I don’t either.
Mom: Well, anyhow, your perfume smells really clean and fresh.
It went downhill from there and I will spare you the details. While all this was going on all I could think of was the bit that Abbott & Costello did about “Who’s on First.” Mine is not nearly as long or as funny, but on the level of non- comprehension it comes really, really close…