Thursday, July 31, 2014

Things to Ponder

My mind does not work like most human minds apparently. Below are 2 thoughts I had that may explain why: 

1.    I just read an article about an individual that went for his first kayak ride in the ocean, but then promptly was eaten by a great white. Technically, wouldn’t that be his last kayak ride?

2.     If the media talks about how an execution was ‘botched’ because it took 2 hours for an inmate to die. Technically wouldn’t that just be a prolonged execution? If it was botched, wouldn’t the inmate still be alive?

Feel free to let me know just how off kilter I am...

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

What's In A Name

Below is a real telephone conversation one of my coworkers just had. We work in higher ed. We have many international students. But this was not one of them.

“May I speak with Gina?

You mean Jenna? She no longer works here.

Uh ok, what is your name?



No Chrissy with a C.

Tracey with a Z?

NO, Chrissy with a Chr.

What? You are going to have to spell that for me Tracey.”

Thursday, July 17, 2014

A Midsummer Night's Blog

I have a friend. She loves Shakespeare. I can go either way. BUT, she visited me today and we realized we both liked quotes because we were talking about tattoos (makes perfect sense right?) and so we talked about quotes and quotes that should be tattooed.

It came up that we both have blogs and she asked me to send her my link (or maybe I told her I was sending it to her whether she wanted to read it or not and she had to say yes because I was standing in a threatening pose that said - TAKE MY LINK BITCH!). So when I started the email to send her my link (that she so desperately wanted) I realized I just could not write a normal email. I mean that is so 5 minutes ago. I especially couldn't do it to a person who love quotes. So, my email contained the following (I did eventually include my blog link):

"Since you like quotes: 

Name the original source: J 

It was the best of blogs, it was the worst of blogs. 

My blog, the final frontier…. 

To blog or not to blog. That is the question.

Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty blogger… 

Seize the moments of happiness, love and be loved! Mine is the only blog in the world, all else is folly… 

Good blogging once lost, is lost forever. 

Whenever you feel like criticizing any one, just remember that all the bloggers in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had. 

What is life without a little blog?

You’re inches away from death every time you go on a blog. How much older can you be at your age? 


Frankly my dear, I don’t give a blog. 

You never really understand a blogger until you consider things from his point of view…Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it. 

Judge us not equally, blogger. We may all deserve hell, but some of us deserve it sooner than others.

The course of true blogging never did run smooth."

See how many quotes you can identify with its original author and title. Enjoy!

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Not Today

I am not happy today.

I was happy for part of the day yesterday.

I may be happy tomorrow.

But, I am not happy today.

I am told happiness is a decision and can be achieved every day.

I would argue with those that say that.

But there are those that may say I argue about a lot of things.

I would argue with those that say that though.

I cannot make myself be happy today.

I can try, but I probably will not succeed.

I am hoping I will be happy tomorrow.

I hope so.

But that is still debatable.

It is entirely up to me.

I know that.

But I am wondering in a sea of ambiguity.

If you have any tips on how to change my mood - let me know.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

You Know Who You Are...

Sometimes I wonder

Just who I am

When so often the world

Gives a hard body slam.

And time after time,

Or so it seems

The world destroys my every dream.

How many rivers

Must I forde today?

How many mountains

Must get in my way?

How many times

Must I run into a wall?

Until “I give up” is my final call.

But when it gets crazy,

When I get tense

I look to you

To help it make sense.

A place of calm

A place to play

A place to get everything

Out of the way.

A place to smile

A place to renew

Is what I have found

When I am with you.

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Mr. Spock Has Nothing on My Family!

Once in a while a moment will happen that you KNOW will live on forever in your mind. A moment so stunningly remarkable, a moment so unusual, that you will never forget it happened.  Such was the moment last night at around 9:45 p.m.
Picture this: a family group shooting off fireworks on a dock over the family pond. Nothing out of the ordinary – it was July 4th after all. We had the kind of fireworks that are mortars. Put a bulb shaped thing with a long fuse in a thick cardboard tube, light the fuse and stand back awaiting the launch while you are waiting to be amazed! Stand back being the key phrase here.
We have done this 100’s of times.
But, tonight was different. Tonight we were to be shown just how mentally close a family is when something goes wrong.
We place the mortar in the tube, light the fuse and stand about 10 feet to await the fireworks magnificence. About ½ way into the wait there was a thud and it was at that precise moment we knew that mortar was definitely NOT going to go flying UP into the sky as planned.
Run? Too late. Then there was the moment I am writing about.
We looked at each other. No one said a word, but at that second I thought I had detected that not only myself, but each one of us knew that we all knew, (or maybe I was reading something into the locked eyes) that something very bad was about to happen and we all just hoped we lived through it.
My son then said the most appropriate words – “Oh, God.”
We all felt the explosion, aimed right toward us. The sparks, cardboard shards and everything else that an explosion could conjure up came right at us. We felt the shrapnel hit our bare legs, arms, and bodies. But NOTHING hurt. The carnage flew right at us, yet we miraculously were unscathed. Perhaps my son's last words actually moved the man in the sky and he spared us. But, we had looked at a fireworks explosion up close and in the face and lived to tell the tale.
After a few seconds and a giant sigh of relief, we all just started laughing. The crazy, OMG, we could have been killed, but were not, laugh of relief.
After the few seconds of laughing, the subject of knowing we were certainly doomed came up. That was when I realized that I wasn’t imagining the mind meld (thank you Mr. Spock) that I thought had happened. We all indeed had realized together at the exact second in time, what was about to happen. We were one mind. I think we were all more amazed at that, than the imminent tragedy we had just lived through.
The moral of the story? Not what you think. Of course we did not stop shooting off fireworks. No life lessons learned here!
We learned that Star Trek and Vulcans are real. Long live fireworks and the Prime Directive.