Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Stephen Hawking

Stephen Hawking has passed away. A brilliant mind tethered to a shell of a body. He did not allow self-pity. He just overcame. A lesson can be learned from him, that can apply to all of us, about that.

CBS This Morning’s Mark Phillips said it best, “He was born on the 300th anniversary of the death of Galileo and has died on Albert Einstein’s birthday. As he said, there may be order in the universe after all.”

R.I.P. Dr. Hawking, you are free to explore the universe at last.

Friday, March 9, 2018

Echos From My Past

Below are phrases that are/were common in my family since I was a teenager. I just wanted to document the fun. :)

Scram gravey ain't wavy.

When 'yourin' 'yearins' to 'urine', 'yourin' better 'urine', or 'yourin' trouble. (all words in quote marks use the sound of the word "urine")

Let's go to Valdosta and get some toasta. (Don't pronounce Valdosta correctly or it makes no sense)

Let's go to Macon and get some bacon.

Are we there yet?

I would like a chork pop please. (pork chop)

There goes an airy-go-buzzer. (plane)

Is he in the horsepistol? (hospital)

Thank you Dad and St. Luke's United Methodist Church youth group.

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

The Price of Coffee

I don’t know if you have ever seen a commercial for the coffee maker named Nespresso. Well this post is all about that wonder machine.

I love coffee. I do not function during the day without coffee. My sister knew this fact so well that she bought me a sign. It reads, “Instant Human, Just Add Coffee.” No truer words were ever put on a plaque in regard to me. It hangs over my coffee maker.

The first time I ever saw a commercial for the Nespresso machine I was hooked. I drooled, I wished, I dreamed, I longed for, I WANTED one. But, there was a slight problem – the price. At that time is was just over $400. I could buy A LOT of ground coffee with that much money. No justification in the world would come to mind to allow me to spend cash like that just for a machine.

So, I let my dream go – until – a girl I work with brought her machine to work for our massive 12 Days of Christmas Feast Extravaganza last year. OH.MY.GOSH. The coffee was heaven in a mug. All the wonderful things I imagined about the machine and the coffee it brewed were realized. The machine even popped out the ‘pod’ and put it into a discard container for you after it brewed the coffee! You never have to touch anything hot – except your coffee! HAZAH! They thought of everything!

My friend told me that the price had dropped too – to $300.00. YAY?! But still no dice for me.

I mean coffee makers are basically water heaters that drop their hot water through a filter and grounds. They aren’t made of gold.

But last weekend I stumbled across one in Goodwill. Yes, Goodwill. I looked at it and walked away. I came back and looked at it again. I walked away AGAIN, but the thing was calling my name. I was hesitant because our Goodwill has turned a place for unwanted things to be cheaply re-purchased and loved again, into a “½ price mart.” I swear I think they look up items in stores and on eBay and then price them ½ of what they found. I have even seen store price tags on items in our Goodwill and then saw the multiple stickers on the item with only 20 – 30 percent off. I have seen items priced in Goodwill higher than they are priced in a store. That includes old, used coffee makers of all makes and models. Most times, the price is ridiculously high.

But Saturday, the planets aligned and karma was on my side. I asked my husband to take it off the shelf and tell me what price they had on this machine of glory.

He said, “$10.” WHAT? $10!! I was stunned! They obviously had no idea what they had. An employee told us it was cheap because it was ‘missing a part’. The only thing missing was the discard container. No worries, it is nonessential to me.

I still worried though about why someone would get rid of the Adonis of coffedom and I speculated that perhaps it didn’t work. I might buy a useless hunk of plastic and metal. I could waste $10!

But, I had to give it a try. I have wasted $10 on lesser dreams.

Long story short. IT WORKS! Nespresso even sent us a discard container for FREE!

Once in a while, the universe throws you a bone….


Thursday, February 15, 2018

New Olympic Sport

The Olympics are all over TV this season. People love them - people hate them. I rarely find anyone who languishes somewhere in the middle. But today, I received a text that indicated the sender would like to add a new sport to the competition.

Are you listening Olympic Committee??

"Men have made being a fucktard a skill set or a sport I think.
Good grief. What next?
A Fucktard sport in the Olympics?
Probably not.
Too many contenders and not enough gold to go around." 

I love this friend - and I agree with this friend.

I am sure A LOT of women do.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Valentines Day

I have an Instagram account that is nothing but pictures of the cutest cat in America. She was very small when we got her and she is still very small. We named her Little Rat. Not really appropriate for a beautiful cat, but it is the name that stuck. She does however continually have this look on her face that screams - leave me the hell alone - although truthfully she is a very loving cat.

In honor of today being Valentine, we got this picture of her and I had to share here, for those of my dear readers not on Instagram.

So, Little Rat wishes you a Happy freaking Valentines Day. #ratthelittlecat

Tuesday, February 13, 2018


Let me start by saying – MY SON IS BACK HOME FROM THE UK!!!!

Because of this, the dynamic at my house has changed a bit; which is totally fine. As a matter of fact, I welcome it!

What I mean by dynamic is – that because an adult is now living for free at my home – I believe certain contributions should be made. Let’s start with the easy one. He is home all day; I get home from work at 6:30; therefore dinner should be ready when I arrive.

But when I got home from work last night, the dinner that we had talked about and agreed upon earlier in the day, was not even started – and I was hungry. This was not a complicated meal; we were having breakfast for dinner.

Breakfast for dinner equates to: sausage or bacon (or both), pancakes or French toast, maybe fried potatoes (my favorite), and eggs. Eggs for everyone but me – I detest eggs.

Detest is probably not a strong enough word for how much I hate those little baby chicken embryo’s. My aversion runs so deep that I used to make my mom take the hard boiled Easter eggs out of my basket before I would dig through the yummy candy! It took me years to understand that the Easter Bunny was not playing some sick joke on me by putting them in alongside my candy.

That was a total sidebar - back to the story.

After regaling my husband and son with what I thought was hilarious (I am sure they would disagree), banter about the fact that they had not even started supper, we started to gather the ingredients.
Bacon – Check
Sausage – Check
Potatoes – Check
Cinnamon Rolls (a new addition!) – Check

Eggs –

Notice there is no 'Check' mark next to the eggs.

“I thought we had eggs.” I say.

“Me too!” My husband stated.

“We did, but I ate them for breakfast,” our son replies.

“But you knew we were having breakfast for dinner, why didn’t you tell us so we could have gotten some when we went to the grocery store at lunch?” We asked.

“I didn’t think about it,” he replies.

My response, “Oh my gosh. You didn't think about it? But you need eggs, dammit, you need eggs – or it isn’t breakfast!”

“Calm down, it is fine,” he snorts, “I will put them on the list.”

We went on with a variation of the 'breakfast for dinner' due to the lack of eggs and the rest of the evening went fine.

As I was getting ready to leave for work this morning, I glanced at the grocery list.

There, written under the other items needed that were already on the list were these words, in my son’s handwriting,

“Eggs, dammit, eggs! We need eggs”

It is so good to have my son back home! I am still smiling.