Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Random Thoughts on a Random Day

I love Alfred Hitchcock. His sense of humor is timeless & priceless.

I wish I wanted to call my mom. But, I don’t.

I had my first gardenia bloom yesterday. Gardenias are my favorite.

I have 4 cats. That makes me half way to ‘crazy cat lady’ status.

I don’t understand why people make mountains out of molehills. My answer to that is to not answer their emails.

Silence is the best response to a fool.

If I were a super hero I would want to be Ironman. Tony Stark is rich.

If I were an animal, I of course would be a cat. Sleep, eat, purr, eat, sleep.

I would love to have a pet dragon. I wish they were real.

I have a taxidermy weasel in my office. His name is Dave.

I also have an Enterprise replica with a bobble head Spock on my desk.

I also have a coffee mug on my desk that says “Save Oxygen. Shut up.” I wish more people would pay attention to that mug some days!

I have been told that I am one lab accident away from a super villain. I hope there is a lab close by.

I like my coffee black. 

What does all this have in common? Absolutely nothing. I have not a single ounce of brain power lately and I have wanted to post something, but can’t come up with anything. I am not sure this is worth the read, but here it is…reading it is your choice…or not…

Thursday, April 16, 2015

You Never Know

You never know.

Some people never come to the realization that you never know. I know I have never known for several decades. It is a comfort, but it is a devil as well. Playing with your mind. Almost making you believe sometimes that because you don't know, this may be the last second you even can think about the fact that you don't know. And so it goes.  

What am I talking about? Death of course. We live every day never really knowing if we will make it to work or not - or - make it home again.  Never having a warning that it might be your last seconds on Earth.

I just found out a person I have known for at over10 years did NOT make it home Sunday. She was 24. She was sweet and kind and always had a smile. I never once heard her complain about anything.  

I didn't really know her as you may imagine though because the only time I saw her was when I ordered food at a local restaurant. We were such frequent visitors that she knew our order before we said anything. That was it. We never went anywhere together, we never hung out, I doubt she even knew my name, but somehow we had a connection. We were friends in a way that most people do not see. Most people do not take notice of the person that takes their order or brings them their food. We did. 

We knew her name, we asked about her family and when she was pregnant we gave her a baby gift. 

That was all the relationship entailed. But I LOVED this girl - like she was my daughter. 

We went to the restaurant today. There was a computer generated sign with her picture asking for money to help her 2 young daughters. She had been killed in an auto accident Sunday. She was 24. She was too young to die. She was too sweet to die. She had too many reasons to live. 

It is odd, but normal, that when you see someone, it may never cross your mind that you will never see them again. It certainly didn't cross my mind last week when I saw her. 

It hurts me to the core that evil, malicious, and downright mean people can live to torment others for what seems to be an eternity. But good people like Brittany only last 24 short years. 

I will miss seeing her - and be reminded in a stronger way - that you never know. 

I love you all...


Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Hello? Is Anyone In there???

My husband and I haunt Goodwill. We find lots of great stuff that is ‘used’ but then becomes ‘new’ to us. Why on Sunday I found a Vera Wang purse for $15. What woman would not want a Vera Wang purse for $15??!! Sold!

Today we found a mower. I love to mow – it is my valium.

I have recently been looking at mowers. I don’t need a mower, I have one, but I want a better one. One that is self-propelled.  I am old; I need an easy push, not a push until I pass out because my mower is as old as my children mower. It practically wears me out just pulling the cord to get it started! I basically have to take a nap right after I get it started. I only mow now if my husband is around to start it.

But you don’t care about all that.

This mower looked fairly clean and little used. Another bonus. It had the famous “TESTED” sticker on it, which is supposed to mean that the staff at Goodwill has tested the product and they say it works. They loosely judge the idea of works.

I have purchased items that said “TESTED” and once I got them home found that they do not in fact work. So I am skeptical of the “TESTED” sticker.

We wanted to "TESTED" this mower ourselves. So we asked if we could. The employee we talked to initially looked at us like we had 2 heads and were spitting fire at the random furniture sitting around. He could already see the headline: “Local Goodwill Goes Up in Flames!” So, he just turned and walked away - no comment - no answer - just walked away like we hadn't even spoken to him.

So, since our interaction with him was completely useless, we searched for the manager. We found her and she was a rather talkative, but not a listening, type of woman. Here is the exchange (which is the reason for this post):

Us: We are interested in this mower. May we take it outside to make sure it works?

Manager: It just came in from another store this morning.

Us: Um yes, we are interested in this mower. May we take it outside to make sure it works?

Manager: It looks like it is a very good mower.

Us: Um yes, and we are interested in this mower. But may we take it outside to make sure it works?

Manager: I don’t know why we got it from the other store...

Us: Great, but we would like to take it outside and test it.

Manager: We don’t usually allow items that use gasoline in this store.

Us: Great, but may we TAKE IT OUTSIDE AND TEST IT?

Manager: You know, it just came from another store and we just put it out on the floor about an hour ago!

Us: Wonderful. May.We.Test.It? The door to the outside is right there (we were pointing)!

Manager: Oh, you want to test it? It has a “TESTED” sticker on it, two in fact so it must be fine.

Us: Yes, but we have purchased items before that had that sticker on it and then got the item home only to find that it actually didn’t work. Soooo, may we take the mower outside and just see for ourselves that it really works.

Manager:  I wonder why we got it from the other store. We have only had it a couple of hours.

Obviously we were not getting through to her (or she was just ignoring our request) and I was rapidly losing what little bit of self-control I possess, so I grabbed her by the shoulders, looked her square in the eye and said:

Look, I don’t trust your “TESTED” sticker, I don’t care where it came from, how long you have had it, or whether your store allows a gas powered anything in it. I NEED to take this mower outside that door – right there – and start it myself and push it around to make sure it works. Any questions?”

She calmly answered, “Why no, go ahead.”

I think my husband and I are magnets for those who are inept or stupid. I really do.
P.S. No word on the buffalo yet...I will keep you posted though!

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

When Dealing WIth Buffalos - Read The Fine Print

Sometimes, just when you think all is lost in the world, to your surprise the planets align, the stars shine their brightest, God winks in your direction and you get your very own buffalo head.

Now, that kind of providence doesn’t just happen every day! I mean you have to be pretty special to get a buffalo head. Something that remarkable does not happen to just the run of mill, muddling through life, pedestrian humans. There are many individuals out there that do not appreciate the magnificence of the grand animal – which is shocking! They don’t want the planets to align, or the stars to shine, or God to even look in their direction in regard to taxidermy – and they don’t understand MY obsession. But I can’t concern myself with those kinds of trifling people. Those that know me understand.

Such a glorious day as was described above happened to me yesterday. I was beside myself with joy. I was engulfed in a world of pure taxidermy elation because I had won a taxidermy buffalo head of my dreams in an auction on eBay. There is no greater high.

But everyone is aware that with great pleasure – comes great pain. My pain came in the form of the ‘fine print’ I had not noticed in the Second Chance Offer sent to me. I hadn’t noticed the message the seller had included in that offer which said he had several ‘other’ heads and I could have one if I accepted his offer. I thought I was getting the buffalo pictured in the auction.

I was not.

Because my excitement did not let me read fine print!

I was getting a buffalo I had never met! Never even viewed! There are NO blind dates in the world of taxidermy! It just isn’t done!

When questioned, the seller offered up pictures of ‘my’ buffalo. This poor creature was a cross between Eeyore (you know – ‘thanks for noticing me’), a drunk that had been punched in the nose, and Don King.

My mind reeled, my hands shook, my heart raced. How could something so right, go so wrong? No, my mind screamed – not to me…don’t do this to ME

I can’t take it, I am not strong enough. I begged God to take away this pain – and – that awful replica of my dream head. (Get your mind out the gutter – or is that just me?)

We have emailed back and forth and I have been offered the possibility of multiple other heads (again – mind – gutter – or only me) and the pictures of them should be sent to me in the next day or two. I hope one screams, “Pick ME, Pick ME!” But I don’t know, I am pretty taxidermy picky.

So the ecstasy and the agony continue. My fireplace waits to hang my prize in all its glory – if indeed I get a prize. I may just get my money back.

Oh, mercy me, the horror of it all. The lost innocence.

I will let you my dear readers, know of the final outcome, be it good or be it bad; be it happy or be it sad. I am strong. You be strong from me too…