Daughter: How about going to Charleston?
Me: I think it is too far to drive.
Daughter: I thought so too. (yet she suggested it - what?)
Son: We could fly!
Daughter: I hate flying.
Son: First Class. Foot massages. Movies. Solid gold cups that are never empty. My kind of plane!
Me: First Class is the best!
Son: Alcohol for days! (Why a 19 year old suggests that is kind of baffling – or telling…)
Daughter: I hate people touching my feet.
Me: We know!!!
Son: UGH! Fine! Live a life of massage less squalor!
Daughter: I ENJOY MY SQUALOR THANK YOU VERY MUCH
Me: Wow, this is getting too hostile for me…
Son: IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE HEAT THEN GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN.
Son-In-Law (who had been silent up until now): Can we not
Me: Don’t you mean get out of the airplane??
Daughter: Airplanes have kitchens.
Me: Do they have foot kitchens?
Daughter: Why would you want to cook a foot?
Son: You don’t know my preferences.
Son-In-law (apparently at work and getting aggravated by all the texts): I will destroy you all!
Daughter: I think we are driving my husband crazy.
Son: Maybe a little.
Daughter: And I do know your preferences. I’VE KNOWN YOU YOUR ENTIRE LIFE!
Son: I’M MYSTERIOUS AND UNPREDICTABLE!
Me: It is a mystery to me why EVERYONE KEEPS USING CAPITAL LETTERS!
Son: If I need to shout – I NEED TO SHOUT!
Daughter: ME TOO!!!
Son: DON’T STIFLE MY FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS!
Me: I about to exercise my 2nd amendment right if you guys don’t stop yelling at me!!!
Daughter: So, really, are we doing a family vacation?
I love my kids and maybe I think this is funnier than it really is, but hey, I just took up 2 minutes of your day when you obviously had nothing to do or you wouldn't be trolling the blog posts!! GET BACK TO WORK!