Monday, March 30, 2015

Family Vacation & Texting


Daughter: How about going to Charleston?

Me: I think it is too far to drive.

Daughter: I thought so too. (yet she suggested it - what?)

Son: We could fly!

Daughter: I hate flying.

Son: First Class. Foot massages. Movies. Solid gold cups that are never empty. My kind of plane!

Me: First Class is the best!

Son: Alcohol for days! (Why a 19 year old suggests that is kind of baffling – or telling…)

Daughter: I hate people touching my feet.

Me: We know!!!

Son: UGH! Fine! Live a life of massage less squalor!

Daughter: I ENJOY MY SQUALOR THANK YOU VERY MUCH

Me: Wow, this is getting too hostile for me…

Son: IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE HEAT THEN GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN.

Son-In-Law (who had been silent up until now): Can we not

Me: Don’t you mean get out of the airplane??

Son: HA!

Daughter: Airplanes have kitchens.

Me: Do they have foot kitchens?

Daughter: Why would you want to cook a foot?

Son: You don’t know my preferences.

Son-In-law (apparently at work and getting aggravated by all the texts): I will destroy you all!

Daughter: I think we are driving my husband crazy.

Son: Maybe a little.

Daughter: And I do know your preferences. I’VE KNOWN YOU YOUR ENTIRE LIFE!

Son: I’M MYSTERIOUS AND UNPREDICTABLE!

Me: It is a mystery to me why EVERYONE KEEPS USING CAPITAL LETTERS!

Son: If I need to shout – I NEED TO SHOUT!

Daughter: ME TOO!!!

Son: DON’T STIFLE MY FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS!

Me: I about to exercise my 2nd amendment right if you guys don’t stop yelling at me!!!

Daughter: So, really, are we doing a family vacation?
 
I love my kids and maybe I think this is funnier than it really is, but hey, I just took up 2 minutes of your day when you obviously had nothing to do or you wouldn't be trolling the blog posts!! GET BACK TO WORK!

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